Year End Thank You's - Insane. Unstable. Fabulous.

Insane... Unstable... Fab...


If there will be 3 words to sum up the year 2011, these should be it.


And I think this is the perfect time to look back and thank the people who have touched and changed my life, one way or the other.


Pero minsan nakakapgod din mag english sa mga blog, so let me express my self in best jologs way i can. Tag-gay-lish OK?!


Di ko rin alam kung bakit teary eyed ako while writing this blog. It just that when i look back, andaming taong nanakit saken, pero ngayon ko lang narealize na mas marami pala yung nagmamahal. We sometimes really have to count the blessings.


I. Negapeeps

You guys are undoubtedly the best work peers I've ever had.


Thank you sa non-stop, overflowing food all day everyday. For sharing your deepest darkest secrets and Jolliest happiest thoughts.


Sa mga tawanan, asaran, (in fairness wala mashado iyakan, si Kris Anne Agarao lang ang may moments), samga kagaguhan, mga pick up lines, sa mga nagkainlovan.


Special mention to people who really helped me grow. Ate Lanie, ikaw ang role model ko for patience and hardwork. Kay Sheng "Nymfa", please don't change at bumalik ka kagad kasi marami kang lalaban. Haidee, sa food mong masarap. Anna and Ady, for being living proof that one can be happy again. kay Agarao na laging pinapasaya ang araw ko. Kay weng na laging binubwiset ang araw ko, para may mapag chismisan sa hydro. Sa mga med sec na walang sawang naghahanap ng mga nawawala at namimissplace ko na charts. Kay Ronan (yihee). Kay Marse Ainna and Timmy for the ANTM Gossip Girl sessions pag friday. Kay ces na matampuhin. Haha. Love kita alam mo yan! Kay Cham, Alex Ken and Krone na mga Alcoholic! 


Sa mga umalis at aalis, i will miss you. Karlos, miss Tina Lorelle, Armi JP, Hazel. Yul bilang magrorotate ka naman sa clinic di na kita isasama sa mga namimiss ko.


I love you guys, super! 




II. The PARTY People 



It's not at all just party and happy times. 
Thank You Via, Zara, Elois and Dennis for laughing WITH me ,and for laughing AT me pag nagdadrama at nagjjoke ako. For the countless times na ginagago naten si marga, haha. There are times na nagugulat at nattouch ako that you understand me even if... i know you guys know what i mean. haha 

Marga, Gab, Cheska and Jaeil thank you for being fair and understanding me. Laugh and drink with me. I look forward to next year at sana di na kuripot si marga.
Sometimes It's not the number of times we spend together. I just find it amazing how we hang out, not caring about everything, anything, just having fun. QUALITY times!




To Abbi, Sasha, Shyle, Fatima and Billy. The times with you guys are part of the "bestest" memories i have for 2011. Thank You for the fun memories.


All the best for us this 2012. :)


Possibly the most "totoo" na mga taong nakilala ko. No pretentions, walang maarte, walang poser. I'm just glad Paul introduced me to these great people.


Lands, Mark-0, Marklester, JR, Yann, Richard, Adrian, Marky, Chef Eddie, Chardee, VS Angel Archie, Madam June, Mac, and the rest.


Thank You for making my 2011 gay and colorful.
And Para matapos na, wala po akong crush sa MGG ok! haha :)


III. The Original Coyotes


There are moments in my life when i don't want people to see how i look or how i act. These people are the fortunate ones to see the baliw side of me, and yet, 20 years and they're still here.
You guys are like my brothers from another mother.


Benet, Maraming salamat for always being there when i need you. no matter how hopeless my case is. or how silly the reason is. still you are there. kahit pinaglalakad mo kami ni Vivas around ortigas most of the time, i love you nonetheless.


Aris, for the secrets and tears. I always feel like i'm in High school when i'm with you. Thank you for being bubbly and young when everything else is faling. That's your magic.


Vasia, ang roomie/kasambahay ko. I really do appreciate you patience sa mga kalat ko. haha looking forward to another year living with you.




Jaja, You have no idea how thankful i am having you as a friend. Salamat for supporting all my decisions, help me correct the wrong ones. thank you for making me believe that i can still find true love. Thank you sharing those thoughts that really helped me (The Secret). Thank you for trusting me with secrets only brothers and sisters could share. You're the sweetest. I wish you and Jose all the best this coming year.




IV. The BALIWags

Eto na yung mga jologs yet fierce kong circle. haha. I feel really at home when i am with them. Pag may problema, PAK! tawa... Pag masaya, PAK! tawa again...


BFF, Sobrang thank you for making me believe that i can dance again. You and ADDLIB are such an inspiration to me. Sa pag intindi mo sa lukaluka mode ko bilang lukaluka ka rin! :) Madalang man tayong magkita because of the lives that we choose, nevertheless. Mahal kita, your family and you other family, ADDLIB (you guys make people believe in the power of dreams). Please you continue on inspiring people and doing what you guys are good at. Im not just ur bff, i'm also a fan. pa-autograph naman girl. haha


JP, alam no na yan teh. sobrang miss na miss na kitang shet ka. Life was so hard since you left, mas masakit palang iwan ng true friend kesa iwan ng jowa. oh well. The Last months that you were here were the best. Remember Bora. Sobrang Thank you sa lahat ng sakit ng tyan sa tawa and sakit ng ulo sa hang over. haha. Teh pag na bbore ka jan, skype me lang ok. I'll see you soon JP. to be continued ang mga kagaguhan naten :)

E eto na talaga ang basehan ng kalokohan. haha. Uy joan maraming salamat for the countless shitless carefree nights. Isama na din naten sa thank you si Jasper, baka kasi magtampo. You guys are part of the circle i can not live without. Joan the Bora days were the best! i swear! More fun moments, less cry moments to come. Labyu.

Eto pa ang isang Flor contemplacion na namimiss ko. Thank you for tweeting me hot pics of boys na nakakasakay mo sa train. very good na pang almusal yan. Thank you when you tell me your heartaches and Your happiness, i feel like i am wanted and i belong. thank you for being sweet and boba sometimes. nakakatawa kasi e. Hay I miss the old us starting from top to this point. oh well. i'll see you soon too.

Sa aking mga kaibigang putik. Leeyhan, Ian and Patiey. Thanks for making me feel the Southern side. ang masasabi ko lang is Frank ampayat mo sa pic na toh. kaya eto ang pinili ko para maalala mong title holder ka dati. haha.


Pwera gigi, we guys are unbeatable when we're together kasama ng iba pang BALIWags. thank you for being the fun/nakakairitang tao sa buhay ko. I wont chose any other way to live my life other than the one i had with you. 




V. NCO Temps



For 45 days, I met awesome people who can jive to my awesomeness.
Thank You Ali, Ruth, Pearl, Mike, Jayson, Pie, Bie and George. You guys are the best.
Kay Kirk Beltran na nagrefer saken, dapat hati tayo sa referral fee girl haha.
Kay Baebrix Busto, thank you.
Kay Boss Celeste Amor, Godbless sa baby mo.
At kay TL Fred ng .co.uk, ampogi mo. hahaha


Ron and Justin fan ako. hehe thank you guys.


Kay JM, goodluck sa medschool, i admire your perseverance to follow your dream.


Sa mga di nabanggit, wag magtampo. pwede ko pa naman i-edit toh. sabihin nyo nalang kung anong mga pagbati nyo. hahahaha


Alak pa. Gow.




VI. Heartaches and Heartmends


No more issues ok. I'm just thankful for the lessons I've learned.


1. Wag maniniwala basta basta esp pag sinungaling (ampalaya)
2. Makinig kay LeAnn Rhymes when she said, "Shame on you if you fool me once, Shame on me if you fool me twice, Thrice, four five six times" 
3. Nothing lasts forever.
4. If God closes a big door he opens a small window.


I'm just glad i've been to hell and now i'm back.


Bigger... Better... Slimmer...


(This video is inspirational to me, kahit 20 sec lang sya, i feel that it tells everything.)







Then You came along...
Thank you dahil unti unti mong tinatama yung mga mali sa buhay ko.
Thank you for making me smile kahit bwiset ang araw ko.
Thank You for the patience pag brat mode ako.
Thank you for understanding my mood swings pag gutom ako...


Pwede naman palang sumaya ulet.
Hindi talaga dapat hinahanap ang love, mas lalong di dapat hinihintay. dadating pala sya talaga lalo na pag busyng-busy ka.


I Love You Lovelife!

Cheers for the years ahead of us!




VII. Oh Well, Deep Well...


It has been a great Year. My hopes are high for the year 2012, alam kong hindi pa end of the world kasi yung Argentina Corned beef dito sa bahay 2013 pa ang expiration, so dear friends, aabot pa tayo...


Magtatagal pa tayo...


I LOVE YOU ALL. :)


Cheers for all the Insanity, Joy and Glamour ahead...


Kaya ikaw 2012, UMAYOS KA!!!!


Give mo na samen toh...

All I Want For Christmas

Well Christmas is pretty near and I have  some stuff in mind as part of my wish list. I try the achievable ones so it wont be hard for my friends or myself to get a hold of it.

Starting of with...

The Galaxy Tab 8.9

It is sleek, Android OS and powered by Google. I bet my life will be easier if i have one. 

I really want to succumb to the bandwagon of techy-ness especially in this age where tablets are the next notebooks. 

It's almost half the price as Ipad with the same specs. so there...

The Kanye West Louis Vuitton Kicks

I'm a lover of shoes. all my friends know that. This one really hit me, esp when I saw the price. Haha

But i wanna tell Santa that i've been good all year so i deserve some glitz like this.

Blackberry Bold 9780


Yes i like my stuff thin. yung tipong kasing payat ko. LOL


I'm actually doing this for my friends who doesn't know how to send sms anymore. all they pro'lly want is to use BBM. well i can't do that on other phones except blackberry, right? so there...


And BIS is so useful, unlimited IM's and twitter anywhere anytime. 

.....???


Santa, this is the hard part.


Of course i don't want my Christmas to be cold yet again. And I don't wanna be singing to Mariah's Miss You Most yet again.


So please, kahit hindi pa po jowa. Just a someone, a special someone who'll make me feel special not in an autistic kind of special.


I know it's easy for some, but i dont wanna commit the same mistake again. (May pinagdadaanan!)




Simple wishes...
So friends... alam nyo na..
Yung last yung Top priority OK? 
:)


Happy Holidays Everyone!

Jack and Jill

Jill was so excited when the captain announced that it was a matter of minutes before touchdown. Hello Philippines again for her after flying endlessly this past year. But now she’s not the stewardess, she’s a passenger sitting on business class, admiring the precious stone on her left ring finger. More than anything else, she’s excited about preparing for her big day and telling him the stories that she brought along with her, anxious and excited on being into his arms again. This time, forever.

Jack arrived late at the airport. He then saw Jill half soaked in her own sweat at the arrival area. Not used to the weather, she stares blankly at her watch yet admiring her ring at the same time. 
“What took you so long?” said Jill while hitting jack with her LV handbag.
“I’m sorry. It was really traffic at EDSA.” Said Jack with a nervous voice.
“Ok fine. You owe me Coffee and Cake!”
The two were friends since time immemorial. Now it’s different. 

They sat on this porch overlooking the bay area. Jack thinks it’s romantic since Jill is a sucker for coffee over sunsets because she doesn’t wanna go to bed early. She’s a fan of the late night shows on cable TV and Jack thinks this is the perfect spot. Jill started telling Jack about the places she visited and the people she had met. Then she asked.
“Natatandaan mo pa noon how people tell us we are the perfect match?”
“Yeah, coz they based it on our names. Jack and Jill. I just laughed at the thought of it. A very shallow basis” replied Jack.
The two laughed ridiculously after reminiscing some memories from the not so distant past. Then the air went blank.
“Do you still remember the letter you gave me on our first Anniversary? You said you wrote it before you met me. And that it’s a love letter for no one?” Asked Jack
“Yes of course, it’s a love letter to my prince charming that I haven’t met yet when I wrote the letter. Whatever happened to that letter? 
“It’s still in my wallet. I’ve kept it years now.”
Then Jill stared at jack, “can you read to me some lines? I think I forgot what I wrote. It was centuries ago”.

Then Jack grabbed his wallet and took a piece of a paper that looks like a papyrus for it’s too old and fragile. The letter was addressed to “someone”. Then he began to read.

…”I woke up today with the hope of meeting you. My night in shining polo barong. (Because I like my man in the corporate world) hihi. I wanna do my morning rituals after you wake me up with your kisses and giggles. So before anything else I wanna thank you for the things I know you will be doing to me when we’ve become lovers.”…

Jack cleared his throat for what he will read next, he intends to skip the cheesy parts and proceed to the more important ones. Then he continued reading.

…”Thank you for giving me the privilege of loving and being loved it return”…
…”Thank you for being at my dance rehearsals, bringing me water and towel. And for bringing me flowers after that show I did at the medicine auditorium”…

Jill was teary eyed and kind of freaked out when she blurted. 
“Yeah I remember you doing all those stuff even before I gave you that letter. The pen and paper must be magic”
Then Jack continued reading.

…”Thank you for wiping the make up out of my face whenever I go home, too drunk to even change to my pajamas”…
…”Thank you for the breakfast in bed when I’m still hung over”…

Then Jill again looked at her watch and admired the diamond on her finger at the same time.
“It’s getting late and the story telling should stop right there, I still wanna finish my cake before Daniel comes” Jill said.
“It’s a nice ring. He called me up a couple of days ago asking me to pick you up the airport coz he will be in a meeting till late afternoon, and he also asked me to be his best man at your wedding.” 
Replied Jack with marks of remorse all over his face.
“It’s a Harry Winston. He proposed when I was about to board on a connecting flight to Japan. He said his love can’t wait and…
Before Jill finished her statement, jack interjected, 
“I think your coffee is getting cold.”
Then Jill took a sip and Jack looked away. After a long, awkward pause, Jack spoke
“Who would have thought that this roller coaster will end up like this? The one girl I loved most ending up with the person closest to me. But no hate feelings, don’t get me wrong, I know my best friend can take care of you better, and can love you more. I was just an ass back then to have let you go.”
A single drop of tear fell from jack’s left eye. The setting sun hit it and it sparkle like the stone on Jill’s finger. It was pure and true just like de beers. Jill was left with her jaw about to drop at the site of this. She thought that the feelings went away after years of not seeing each other, with Jack being on rehab for his alcohol abuse. But still, she realized that even if you take away some part of a person’s past, there are things that don’t change. At least for Jack. And that’s the price he has to pay.

“I thought we’ve both moved on? I love Daniel.” Jill said
“I know and We already did move on, it’s just that there are things from my past that haunts me, that there’s this question that I keep on asking what if I did things differently, will anything change?” answered Jack. A long pause followed.
“We’re all good.” He added while patting Jill on the shoulder.

A Tall, bald, big-built figure tapped Jack from behind the porch. He wiped his eyes, pretending he’s sneezing.
“Uy pare kamusta? Sorry for the hassle a. I should’ve canceled my meeting for my bride-to-be. But anyway, thank you for being there to save my ass. Come to our house, mom prepared dinner.” Daniel said.
“I think I’m staying here for a bit. You guys go ahead. And no need to say sorry pare, As I told Jill, It’s all good.” Jack said.
Jill held Daniel’s hand and kissed him. 
“I know you’re tired Boo, let me carry you to the car, like a bride” Daniel told her with a smile and his sweet baritone voice. 
Daniel opened the car door while looking at Jill like she’s the most beautiful girl in the world …
Jill looked at the porch to say goodbye…
Jack was looking away… Admiring the sunset…


Dixiepixie 04/26

You and I; Viewed from a Panoramic Window

* A Repost from My old blog site Dated Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 6:36am*




"You were smiling... the smile I've been wanting see. the smile that you never gave me.
You turned away...
Then looked back and blushed, and that's it...
I cried..."


Nasa McCafe ako nun somewhere in ortigas. Iniintay kita kasi alam kong late ka na naman or sakto sa oras. Good thing may nakita akong friend, si Will, he kept me Busy so hindi ko napansin yung Oras till you arrived

Dex: Will this is Mark (not his real name), Mark this is Will.

Hindi na tayo nakapunta sa dapat nating puntahan kasi antagal ng quarter pounder na inorder mo at fish fillet na inorder ko kaya nagkwentuhan nalang tayong tatlo till the sun went down. naunang umalis si Will and we stayed a couple of hours more.

Hindi ko alam kung sasabihin ko na ba sa'yo na Lahat ng status updates ko ay about you, lahat ng tinetext ko totoo. nagdadalawang isip ako. pero sabi nga nila the brave may not live forever but the cautious will not live at all.

Tinanong kita kung sino katext mo kasi grabe ka makangiti, parang wala nang bukas.

Mark: Si Will.
Dex: Nagkuhanan kayo ng number?
Mark: Yup (nakangiti pa rin). ang sweet nga nya e, ang kulit pa sa text.
Dex: So Mahal mo na? (paloko kong sinabi)
Mark: (Nginitian lang ako ng bonggang bongga, kinikilig, sabay Nod ng head)
Dex: You can't possibly fall inlove with Will, ngayon palang kayo nagkita (in denial tone)
Mark: Love at first sight.

Yung mga susunod na litanya mo ang hindi ko kinaya. Sabi mo hindi mo inakalang maiinlove ka sa lalake. pero iba yung naramdaman mo kay Will. Gusto kong sumigaw ng "PUTANGINA, I saw this coming kaya nga sasabihin ko na sa'yo na MAHAK KITA e". pero ngumiti nalang ako at sinabing...
I'm Happy for you...
Pero deep inside, gusto kong sabihin "papatol ka rin pala, bakit hindi pa saken"

...
Yung sumunod na eksena, wala na, Umiiyak nalang ko.
Pero di mo nakikita.
Hindi kita mahawakan.
Gusto kitang tampalin pero di ko magalaw yung dalawang kamay ko. wala akong ibang maramdaman kundi yung sakit tsaka yung luhang tumutulo galing sa Mata ko. nagtataka ako kung bakit.

I realized I was in a Panoramic viewing glass. yung parang elevator ng Megamall. Nakikita mo lang yung mga nasa labas, naaappreciate mo sila, pero hindi mo mahawakan. hanggang tingin ka nalang. habang pinapanood kita at ang sarili ko from inside the glass. ang sakit sakit ng damdamin ko. hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit nakukuha ko pang ngumiti... magpakaplastik...

....
6:30 a.m.

pagtingin ko sa relo... Huwebes Feb 25 2010.
Sabay Patak ng Luha.

NANANAGINIP lang pala ako...
Pero bakit ganon, sobrang naramdaman ko yung sakit?
I had a taste of how bitter it would be.
How it would suck if iba yung pinili mo.

Pero ganon yata talaga, mas matapang ako sa panaginip. Kasi sa tunay na buhay i fear rejection. kaya ayan. kakaisip ko sayo bago ko matulog, ayan tuloy napala ko.

Pero naisip ko, hindi pa Oras.
Wag nalang muna or.
Di Bale na.

I've been selling myself short for people I love and can't love me back.
Ayoko munang sumugal.

Mahal na Yata kita...
Di ko pa kayang sabihin...
Pero sana naman ikaw yung mauna, kasi hindi ko pa kayang magsalita.

Thank You for Coming! - Xris&Dex

* Repost from my former blog site dated Monday, June 22, 2009 at 1:14am *

 
!Disclaimer!: I was really in love when i wrote this. I don't know if i still am but regardless, i still wanna get married...

“Wear this ring, as a sign of my love…..
….till death do us part!”

3:00 PM, The Venue

It was a fine, breezy, sunny day at Halong Bay Vietnam.
Over 70 of our closest friends sit tightly as they watch with anticipation on how this long planned event will take place.

Everyone was on a roofless bamboo raft, approximately 250 sq. meters big, made to look like a floating balcony approximately 50 meters from the shore. Attached to it was a bamboo bridge, catwalk wide, so guests can walk barefoot from the sands to the raft.

The Altar was adorned by one of Landscape artists’ made wonders. A fine synchrony of fountains, ferns and flowers. Tulips of course. A 10 piece orchestra sits on the left side and the San Miguel Philharmonic Chorale on the other.

The Isle was lined by series of Bamboo arcs and each arc was adorned tulips and oriental flowers. The entire place was decorated with Off-white chiffon lined by gold and bronze threads, an idea of our planner Abbi Gabasa. It was a perfect merger of Greece and the Oriental Asia.

And as the sea blew soft breeze and gentle waves that mid afternoon, the chorale started singing in acapella, and the procession started.


3:30 PM, The Entourage

“Ikaw ang tunay na ligaya, tanging ikaw sinta….
…Hindi magsasawa sa piling mo!”

Dressed in white kamesa de chino and pants designed by his best friend Sasha Aguilar, He walked down the isle to the altar, with his best man Gian Comsti, trying to control his emotions. Everyone knows for a fact that he’s so sentimental. A gush of wind blew the bangs of his face and all the guest saw how happy he was.

The little girl Musika Aguilar and Ethel Yruma then followed, sprinkling petals all over the isle with Zane and Rafael bringing the Rings and the Aras.
Then the Primary sponsors followed… one pair at a time.

There were my candle sponsors Albert Ramos and Mitzie Luna.
Next to them were Fatima Palma and Ian Fegalan holding the veil.
And finally Anne Tegio and JP Dela Cruz for the cord.
They all walked down with Elois Atillano designed white dresses and Kamesa tops each one equally fierce than all of the others. It somehow became a fashion show that mid afternoon.

My Four Bride’s maids strut their stuff like top models on a runway.
Aris Manalang in D&G White see-through, classy Indian look, flaunting his cuts.
Benet Pyongayong looking so conservative yet elegant in his Michael Kors fresh-from-the-runway top and pants.
Via Poco in her Empire cut white Vera Wang gown. A Maiden floating with a stargazer flower on her long curly hair.
Jaja Lopez in her tube top maxi dress, detailed by Swarovski crystals, exclusively done by Prada for the event.

Then Finally my maid of Honor, Jullian Abuda in his androgynous Versace ensemble. A plunging neckline tunic top with short-shorts, hemmed with bronze thread to fit for the motif of the celebration.

The Violin’s hymn started filling the high cliffs of Halong Bay.
Birds flew across and above the floating bamboo balcony.
The Guitar strums then followed.



4:00 PM, The “Bride/Groom”

“…Pangarap ko ang ibigin ka,
at sa habang panahon ikaw ay makasama.
Ikaw nalang ang syang kulang sa buhay kong ito…”

The songbird, Ms. Regine Velasquez sang as everyone watched in awe.
At the end of the Bamboo pathway, groomed with couture by Sasha Aguilar, I started walking, trembling, and I don’t know what I’m feeling exactly, all I can sense was a perfect harmony of love and friendship between us.

I stopped at the main entrance of the raft. A sudden gush of memories came in as I see all the people we love and shared our love with.
All looking at me.

His LSGH and San Beda friends, My Gforce, Addlib and E.B. Babes Family, Megaclinic friends, Our drinking and clubbing buddies, they were all there to share this moment with us.

I saw Joe nearly bursting into tears; I nearly cried but promised myself I’ll never. Still with serenity I continued walking. Then I saw Xris at the end of the isle wearing a big smile while wiping a single drop of tear off his face. I can see how happy he was and I know he can see to how happy I were, am still. Facing him today brings me new tomorrows and I Thank God for yesterdays.
Then it dawned on me.

That was it, at the middle of the isle tears started falling endlessly I can’t barely walk. The glee inside me is so unbearable and humongous that it was converted to tears of joy. Then I saw some dear friends wiping their eyes off.
They feel me.

Then I continued walking. My eyes locked into his. Bathe in tears.
Smiling.
I hugged him at the end of the trail thinking it was only the beginning of a happily ever after.
The ceremony started.


5:00 PM, The Reception

“How did you know, I needed someone like you in my life…
…It’s not everyday that someone like you comes my way,
No words can express how much I love you!”

Jareth Fajardo made us a new arrangement and rendition of the song as we exchange vows beneath the nearly setting sun.

We kissed, and that was it.
“No trace of Sadness, Always with Gladness…
…I DO!”

The sun was being engulfed by the night sky. The Raft was detached from the bamboo bridge and as we continue the ceremony, the floating bamboo raft sailed to the nearby island for everyone to disembark. The white sand island was so gorgeous it looked like a paradise. It was a good dinner by the beach, Japanese style, for everyone.

We were the last one to alight the raft, and as we do so, all the lights in the island were dimmed and a beautiful display of fireworks lit the whole of Halong Bay.

We sat down on the sand; it was like the old times, not caring about anyone else. We watched the skies with all those lights and colors.
I leaned on his shoulder, my favorite place on earth, he whispered in my ears,
“I love you”
I kissed his cheeks I love you back…


9:00 AM

Nanay: Dex! Gising na! Papasok ka pa.
Dex: Opo nay. (smiling) 

Early Morning Realizations

* A Repost from My old blog site Dated Tuesday, February 2, 2010 at 5:15am *


I slept around 5 p.m. yesterday and woke up 4 a.m. now coz i had a dream of that power balance baller i.d. that ate owie was demo-ing monday morning before we left Alfonso.

I just realized a few things while i'm frying my sunny side ups, and i can't wait to blog it. that THERE ARE THINGS IN THIS WORLD THAT DON'T MERIT AN EXPLANATION.

Like those Balance Baller I.D.'s, no scientific explanation or study behind it but the couple of demo's that she did proved that it really does enhances ones balance. as a hopeless romantic coupled with the month of February, i can't help but relate it to that matters of the heart.

Like do we really have to explain why we like a person?, or why we love them? my Neurology teacher way back college said it has something to do with the amygdala of the brain, but still, no scientific study that explains falling in and out of love.

It's like always telling my friends, "hindi ko alam kung bakit sya gusto ko, i just feel it"
we try to make explanations on how we feel. explanations like because he's always there, he's cute, we have a connection, he sees me for who i am. but still the question is there, WHY DO WE HAVE TO FALL FOR SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T and WONT LOVE US BACK?

Human instinct would say "self first", but why do we care for someone who doesn't give a shit if we ate enough, if we're home yet, if we're feverish, or if we are still alive.

Even so, we choose to give love, or at least care unselfishly. And no amount of thinking-things-over can explain why. No scientific or research can back that feelings up to explain how stupid we can be for thinking their happiness above ours.

And In my my greatest efforts to explain why such phenomenon happens, the vaguest answer came.
HINDI KO ALAM, I JUST FEEL IT. and will try to be more stupid TO CONTINUE FEELING IT. because in that somewhat hurtful situation, there are still MAGICAL Moments to look forward to. ;)

Just like the Power Balance Baller I.D.

Mathematics (In A Hopeless Roamantic Point of View)

Tangent Lines (tan’jәnt) n.

1. Two lines in a plane that will meet and intersect at ONE certain point without coincidence and then will part course and move in the opposite direction.

2. Touching slightly.

Everything that comes out of Paul’s drawing table becomes the gold standard in the advertising world. He was unbeatable in his profession, until one day he met André, an IT firm owner who wanted to hire Paul’s expertise. The project went more than fine when the two decided to take it to the next level. They went out without talking business; in short they were just happy. But André wasn’t even sure if a relationship is what he really wanted so he took it one step at a time.

Countless nights cuddling and talking about silly stuff made them happy. Everyone saw that this is what Paul really wanted and for whatever its worth, it has a positive effect on Paul’s personality. They were the happiest in each other’s company. The usual things that bored Paul became the most unusual activities that excite him whenever he’s with André and all can attest that the IT guy felt the same too. They were inseparable.

Since boredom was never part of Paul’s vocabulary, he wanted to take it further and be André’s partner. He was now very sure that this is what he wanted, like a child wanting a balloon after a Sunday mass. He asked André to be with him forever, or at least try, like what he’s been trying to do for the past months that they were together. André being the independent, controlled freak that he usually is got so overwhelmed with Paul’s persistence and about the idea of being in a relationship with him. Since he’s not sure if a same gender relationship is what he wanted. He so used to dating girls, but this one with Paul hit him like a lightning in an open field. Raw, hard and unexpected.

Paul insisted…

André took a couple of steps back every time….

Till there’s no more space and both of them fell on the cliff.

Parted…

Alone…

Unhappy…

They blew it.

Parallel Lines (par’ә·lel) n.

1. Two straight lines in a plane, however far extended, will not meet or intersect.

2. In projective geometry, they are said to meet at infinity ∞

Hannah was a medical Intern then from the west coast and Charles from the north. They trained for five years together specializing in nuclear medicine. She has her set of friends, he has his. The dilemma started when Charles felt something towards Hannah that he kept since early internship. A very light spark that will later on grow into a drastic fire.

She decided to practice her profession in a private institution at her coast, Charles being dumbfounded by the idea and blinded by infatuation, he pulled off some strings and decided to practice at the same facility as well so he’ll have the chance on Hannah.

She was simple, smart and a lover of dance.

He was a rock star, a "whatever-will-be-will-be" type of guy.

Not a good combination.

Their interests never met, if only they haven’t had the same circle of friends now, they wouldn’t have talked, unless it’s work related.

Charles was contented looking at Hannah from a distance, to distant to touch and feel her. Not even her breathing. Till the time came when he can no longer contain what he feels. He decided to tell Hannah what’s in his heart and that he’s darn serious about it. The day came when it’s time for Hannah to take a year leave for her education at UST Med, so for Charles, THIS IS IT!.

He took the time to make everything special, but for Hannah, it’s because they are friends. Nothing more, nothing less. They’ve known each other since med school and not a single spark ignited in her heart so she was taking everything calmly and at a friend’s point of view.

And then on that despedida night, it happened.

He said I love you…

She offered her hand for a hand shake when she blurted, "just friends"…

Slowly Hannah was being anxious of what happened. She stayed away.

He was broken…

Asymptotic Lines (as’im·tōt’ik) n.

1. Two lines in plane which are an indefinitely extended curve that continually approaches each other as a limit but will never intersect.

2. From the Greek word asymptōtos meaning not falling together.

Daniel was broken when his girlfriend left him for another guy. So he decided to spend most of his time at work. Being a partner in the law firm where he works for isn’t far from reach, since he’s the most sought after criminal lawyer in Manila. Then came the newbie. Kaye, a promising prodigy on the firm since he topped the bar that year and won controversial cases as an intern.

The two were inseparable since, they jive in everything. Being both lovers of art, alcohol and the dahlia lama gave them the chance to talk endless under the urban sky. She gave Daniel the company that he needs in times like this but not in a rebound kind of way. Simple stuff that Kaye did made him feel special, but who wouldn’t have? Since Daniel came from a bad break up, everything, no matter how small, is a big thing especially if it shows some care. Without her knowing, she slowly made Daniel forget all his heart’s pain and start anew. Then it came, what every tough man lawyer feared, he fell without knowing where he’s falling to.

Days passed and the feelings grew. 3 months ended and Daniel wants to tell Kaye what he feels for her. But after failed trials he decided not to because something inside him made him chicken out whenever he anticipates that Kaye will build a wall if she knew.

"I’d rather have you as a friend, even best friend, and be happy about it, than not have you at all"

he thought.

Days turned into months and in an unexpected place and time, He told her what he really feels for her. She was caught aback with what he just said.

There was no assurance yet no negation.

Friends…

The popular Erik Santos song was playing in the background "I’ll never go far away from you…"

Good thing nothing changed after…

They are still good friends.

But Daniel still feels the same…